It’s been awhile and so much has happened since my last
update here. I finally feel like writing about it all, so this might be a long
winded post… just a warning!
First, I had a clear CT scan on May 21, meaning that there
is no evidence of cancer in my chest and abdomen (YAY!!!). Remember I had been told before by my doctor that
he wouldn’t say to me that I was cancer free or in remission… so the closest I
get is him taking me out of the ‘active treatment’ phase and into maintenance
phase… and I will take it!!!
What that means for me is checkups every 3 months with the
oncologist, including CT scans every 6 months, and taking a daily med called
Tamoxifen, which blocks the estrogen receptors from attaching to and feeding
cancer cell growth. Apparently, my blood counts are still depressed, which is
normal for about 6-12 months after chemo, and affects my energy level and still
my immunity, but nothing like actually being on chemo. My left arm still has
some stiffness from surgery and radiation, which I can work on with stretches
and strength building. I got to have my port removed, and I have reconstructive
surgery scheduled for Dec 17, which also hopefully includes the procedure to
get my ovaries out. I also have to meet with my radiation oncologist in Turlock
every 3-4 months (for about a year, I guess) to have her check on how my skin
is healing up. And… in the midst of all this, I was also diagnosed with carpal
tunnel syndrome on both wrists. I had signs before, but the chemo exacerbated
the neuropathy in my hands, so it got much worse. I pretty much have numb hands
every night during sleep, and they fall asleep regularly when I am actively
doing something with my hands (riding a bike, driving, typing, etc). My
chiropractor was able to help reduce the symptoms, which has been great, but we
will have to deal with this sometime…
So happy that my hair is coming back—so far it is a bit
darker than before and chemo curl is REAL. So so curly! They say it changes as
the new hair grows out, but I am just so happy it decided to come back, I will
take what I can get!
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| I got to be a counselor up at Hume Lake this summer with our church high schoolers. It was amazing to be at Hume again, and even more cool to be there with my own kids (and yes, Zeke is now taller than me and Brian!)! Exhausting, incredible and very fulfilling week! |
So… my new normal… regular doctor appointments, daily pill,
less energy and brain power than I used to have but still way better than when
in treatment, lots of curly hair products, a deeper appreciation for the people
I love and care about, less tolerance for the petty (this is a good and bad
thing!), and a powerful recognition and thankfulness for the hope the Lord
provided me in this journey through answered prayer, community, and the hold
that he has on my heart.
Out of active treatment means a celebration!!! So many of
you, my dear family and friends, came to help us celebrate this milestone at
the end of June at an open house we called
the ‘kicked cancer’s butt’ party! It was awesome to feel well enough,
exactly one year after receiving this diagnosis, to host and hug and talk and
thank those who were able to be here (or those who wanted to be but couldn’t!).
I can’t imagine what this year would have been like without the support we
received, and in so many countless ways. We are so grateful, feel so loved, and
can’t say THANK YOU enough!!! It was so awesome to BE with all of you that I
didn’t take ONE picture—which is a bummer—but enjoying the moment was more than
awesome. We also got to go white water rafting as a celebration with our guide friend, Derrick, which was a very special gift to us and our family to play and have FUN together.
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| Rafting on the South Fork of the American River, the Gorge Run |
I have definitely appreciated the more ‘normal’ parts of
life since being done with treatment… before summer, I went back to work on a
pretty regular basis throughout May, and received tenure, which was a pretty
cool career milestone! I was able to enjoy Emmy’s first season of volleyball
and to go on a field trip to Yosemite with Ethan’s class. Zeke graduated from
the 8th grade and received some pretty awesome awards. We were
thankful for summer break and working around the house, enjoying the swimming
pool, and trying to recoup after a whirlwind year with a couple of fun family
trips, some organization in the new house and prepping up for another busy
school year (with one in high school!).
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| At Giovanni's in Morro Bay, soaking up the 60 degree weather! |
School starts today for Zeke and Brian, tomorrow for Ethan
and Emmy, and I started back at work last week. The new normal will be an
interesting adjustment for us. I am so grateful that I am able to jump back
into life, but it is definitely different. Hard to explain the dichotomy of
feelings inside of me, but I have come to realize that life will be different
from now on, even if most things appear normal. If I have to say no to ‘normal’
stuff, know that it is me, not you. I do not have the energy or cognitive
function like I used to, but still the same requirements—with added logistics
of doctor appointments, side effects of daily meds, and the hope living in the back of my mind for continued clear scans. I have to keep what I have to do a priority, instead of everything I want to do! I also have to figure out a
way to incorporate exercise again to help with some of those side effects as
well as just my good health. I am so thankful for the love and care that
continues to surround me and my family, and want to continue to live in that
place where the blessings are the focus, because there is MUCH to be grateful
for.
So, the new normal… bring it!
