Chemo is DONE!

Yesterday, going into my last infusion, I opened my Bible for my 'HOPE' verse of the day. I was brought to the story in Mark 9 about the father who brought his demon possessed son to Jesus and the dialogue went something like this: 

And in the next verses, Jesus delivers the boy by driving out the evil spirit.

The commentary in my study Bible expanded on these verses: "The question was not whether Jesus had the power to heal the boy but whether the father had faith to believe it. A person who truly believes will set no limits on what God can do (vs.23)," and "Since faith is never perfect, belief and unbelief are often mixed (vs.24).

These verses really resonate with me in this season of my life.

I have felt during this whole cancer journey--that the Lord CAN heal me completely--I truly believe that he can... and yet I still get all the doctors and treatments. People have questioned me on both sides of this coin. I kinda feel like it's that story of the drowning man...

I feel like God provides me help through the amazing doctors, technology and science behind cancer research... chemo the rowboat, surgery the motorboat, and radiation the helicopter... to be 'saved' from this terrible diagnosis and I'm taking every opportunity he's providing me. I struggle with the unbelief/belief, and I am so thankful that Jesus is one who meets me where I am (and where this father was). Jesus allows for the raw honesty, and had mercy for the "if" statement. IF God is real, then... EVERYTHING is possible for Him who believes... the reason for my HOPE! Lord, please help me to know it is by your power alone that I am saved--for eternity and for your purposes and glory here on this earth!

The "IF" statement makes me nostalgic for the IF conference we hosted at our church last year, and since I wasn't able to lead it again this year, it got dropped from the radar :(. It's happening in many, many places throughout the world all throughout the spring (livecast on Feb 9-10). Heck, I might just register and watch it from home... yes, I think I might! Anyone want to join me? Here's a little promo they put out last week...  and the link to find out if one is happening in your neck of the woods... https://register.ifgathering.com/if-local. My house isn't listed on there... but seriously, let me know if you want to come over! 

Hello 2018

Favorite family photo of 2017!

It was amazing to have Christmas with my family and time off together over break. We've had some good family time, great visits with wonderful friends, productive time around the house, a fun New Year's celebration... and now reality hits today with Brian back to school, getting the kids ready to go back tomorrow, and me going down for another treatment tomorrow as well (only 5 more!!!!)

Sunset on 2017

Sunrise to start our new year!

As we say goodbye to 2017 (yea!) and HELLO to 2018, the message in my Bible reading and also my Facebook feed over and over is one of pairing TRUST and HOPE together.

This makes total sense to me... the only reason that I have the HOPE that I have is that I can rest in the TRUTH that God loves me, that God is good, and that God has this all worked out on my behalf--eternally and I believe even here on this earth. He's got a purpose for all things. Good, bad and hard. The hardest part of HOPE is to rest in that TRUTH and find peace with the process.

Psalm 31:19 & 24 tell me, "How great is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of meno on those who take refuge in you... Be strong and take heart, all you who HOPE in the Lord." That is me! I will be strong and take heart (be comforted) because I hope... because I have someone trustworth to hope in. I can see joy, and wonder, and healing because of hope.

Psalm 71:14 will be my theme verse for 2018... 

But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.

Learning & Growing...

Between 2 different studies, I have been really learning and growing.  Coincidentally, they are both about the marriage relationship and I have been learning (and re-learning) some great things!  I had to post about it just so I can encourage others to read and/or check out these powerful tools to building great marriages!!!

I've been meeting with a group of friends over the last few months doing a book study about God's instructions to wives that has been completely transforming my life and heart toward the role I have been blessed with.  It's been challenging and has caused me to really search the Bible and learn God's instructions in this regard.  I wouldn't say that I like everything Debi Pearl has to say, but I definitely can see the wisdom she is speaking from.  It has gotten me to examine my heart toward what submission really looks like and why we are called to do it, how God has designed women and men to repsond to Him and to each other, and to understand the needs of my husband and how God has allowed me to be the one to bless him with helping him in this life and for an eternal purpose. 

This is the study that we have been doing with our (big) small group.  We have been doing the DVD's rather than the book, but the book is awesome, too.  Right now with childcare issues and whatnot, the guys meet one week and the girls meet the next.  The design is that we are studying the same material, just on different weeks, so that we can talk about it and work on it together with our spouses at home.  It's not going as quite as smooth as we were hoping with that, but we're still getting a lot out of it.  Like last nights session... it gave some specific instructions to men about what women view as loving and to women about what men view as respecting him.  Obviously, I knew the loving things... but gained lots of great insight about what respect looks like in real life to my husband and how to apply it to our marriage in a more consistent way.

As we go into the new year and setting our new goals for 2012, some of this stuff is definitely going to come into play for me.  I pray that I can be the wife God designed me to be, Brian needs me to be, and that I desire to be!  I'm also still trying to determine my 'one word' for 2012.... wonder if it will be born from these studies?

Thank you SBC Children's Ministries

...for partnering with Brian and I in raising children who know and love God.

Our kids are flourishing in the Awana program and they are excited to know God's word for themselves and put it to memory.  The other night, on his own, Zeke wanted to look up in his Bible the verses he was learning in Sparks.  Because he knew the books of the Bible in order, both Old & New Testament, he was able to find them no problem and was really into reading the verses around the verse itself.  I can't tell you how awesome it was to walk in on that one...